“The tears of a clown when there’s no one around.”
Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
When was the last time you smiled when you felt like crying? Or perhaps you laughed while your heart was breaking? Maybe you faced a difficulty by sternly clenching your jaw as your stomach turned in angst. Or you skipped happily into work when in reality you forebodingly dragged yourself out of bed just a few moments earlier.
All of the above are samples of ways we move forward yet hide back our true feelings. It’s a battle we constantly face (pun intended). Some of us are better at hiding in the facial trenches than others, but the daily skirmishes involve us all.
For example, it probably wouldn’t be effective to break down in tears in the middle of an important presentation – although you might be able to think of an example where this type of raw display of emotions encouraged a level of compassion from others that wasn’t there a few moments earlier. The emotional honesty may have even ultimately brought about important changes.
However on the other hand, unleashed raw emotions can also bring about ridicule and accusations of incompetence. It’s a tough world out there and general societal expectations are often to “Buck up!” “Get over it!” “Get on track or get the heck out!”
One way to release the unwanted stress that builds up in pretending to be someone you’re not is to take time to remove the mask. Just a few moments throughout the day observe how your face feels struggling thru the chaos.
This following exercise can be done anytime and anywhere. As a side-effect it can help you tune into a more truthful you too. Your breath can be a guiding force in helping you face facts.
Calming Face Meditation
Unclench the jaw and let the corners of your mouth relax.
No need to smile or grimace or emote in any way.
Simply relax the corners of the mouth.
Release the long-held tensions there.
Relax the mouth.
Deep Inhale/Exhale
Observe the cheeks constantly pulling the mouth up or down.
Let the stress of moving them float away.
Relax the cheeks.
Deep Inhale/Exhale
Close your eyes for a moment so your healing lids can fully caress them.
Soften the eyelids, the eyebrows, the eyelashes.
Relax the eyes.
Deep Inhale/Exhale
Calm the forehead letting the lines of consternation dissolve with each breath.
One by one the lines fade away.
Relax the forehead.
Deep Inhale/Exhale
Soothe the scalp and the hair.
No pulling or tugging just let the tensions release there.
Relax the scalp.
Deep Inhale/Exhale
Quiet the nose by slowing your inhales and exhales.
Calmly the breaths move in and out.
Relax the nose.
Gently, quietly, peacefully,
let the tensions of your face continue to soften.
Face forward in peace.