Have you ever experienced unfair gossip? Perhaps it’s happened at work or in school. between neighbors, at a party, a sporting event, online, or in any of the many ways and places we communicate. Gossip can insidiously take a grip and distort reality further than it already is.

Some studies have shown that gossip can actually be good for the psyche. Can you believe that it strengthens view points and builds bonds in friendships? I’d have to read those studies further, but in my opinion that sounds like some crazy glue.

Although a coping strategy better than Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough is hard to come by, here are some additional helpful tips if you think you’re being gossiped about:

Don’t take it so personally.

There’s an abundance of competing stressors in the world. Negative things said about you are most likely coming out of a source that has more pressing problems. Gossip takes us away from our own trials and tribulations – even if for a fleeting moment 

If you’re feeling down, move around.

Save your stews for the pot. Movement lifts the body and mind. Take a brisk walk. Go to the gym. Find ways to physically work off your frustrations. You’ll look and feel better for it.  Go for the gold!

Be kind to yourself.

This may be the hardest of all. Particularly when there’s an odd feeling of nastiness swirling around. It’s easy to get sucked into the quicksand of negativity with thoughts like, ‘maybe they’re right?”  However, gossip gives the illusion that the person being gossiped about is of lesser value. You’re not. With patient kind persistence your personal lotus flower will eventually work its way up through the gossipy mud and bloom above it all.

Ask yourself, “What’s going right?”

Focus on that. Perhaps you didn’t trip on the sidewalk today like you usually do. Maybe you got up the nerve to say  hi to someone new? Or you offered a helping hand to a person, unbeknownst to you, who desperately needed it.

Keep adding to your treasure chest.

I’m not referring to material possessions, but rather to increasing self-discipline in the use of uplifting words, thoughts and deeds. This type of practice creates the ultimate treasures. Unkind words or actions from someone else can’t ever take away your inner radiance.

And remember, as rough as it is to be at the receiving end of gossip, this too shall pass.  When it does the character you’ve built along the way can be an excellent long term solid investment.