“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future,
concentrate the mind on the present moment.” 
– Buddha

Christmas lights are coming down as Valentine hearts are coming up yet grumpy ol’ Scrooge might still be lingering around overstaying his welcome. I’m referring to the Scrooge-y kind of internal dialogue that is self-berating even when the people or situations involved have long faded from our lives. The inner-mind chatter that reflects on the miseries of the past, or perhaps worst of all, makes current experiences miserable.

When does the looking backward overpower the looking forward? Does it happen when some childhood prank is seared into memory and festers year after year? Maybe it’s when a missed job promotion boils over into rage. Or when serious health or finance problems scar dreams of the future.

Let me give you an example of something that recently happened to me. Maybe you can relate?

I was ready to get up from sleeping but instead laid in bed reflecting on a past negative experience. Why did it turn out the way it did? What could I have said or done to have made it better? I started putting myself down for my ineptness. This train of thought was further exasperated by the fact that this incident happened 10 years ago and the people in it were no longer in my life. So I laid there reflecting on the past and what was rather than moving forward into what is.

Once I realized what was happening and the negative downward spiral my mind was drifting in, I started a mantra: Neti, Neti (pronounced, Neh-tee, Neh-tee). It’s a Sanskrit mantra that means, “I am not this thought, I am not that thought.” So as the negative thoughts swirled in my mind, I caught each one and said, “Neti, Neti.” And then let each miserable conundrum float away with my exhale.

As it drifted away in the exhale I started to focus more on my breathing. Soft inhale, slow exhale. I continued this breath focus and when a negative thought swirled up again, Neti, Neti. Soon I was breathing easy in the present moment of a new beautiful day.

It was as if I was giving my mind permission to reset through a refreshing mind-shower. I went in muddy but Neti, Neti cleared the mud away making it easier to move forward into the challenges, triumphs and miracles of the day.

My motto that morning became, ‘Never say Never but Always say Neti.’

So in the spirit of camaraderie, I’d like to offer you this bit of hope for the future. Don’t worry about slipping and falling because there’ll always be a Neti to catch you.